


Funnel Of Love

by orphan_account



Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 12:19:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13341126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: or 5 times they joked about marriage/faked being engaged/married...+1 proposal





	Funnel Of Love

**Author's Note:**

> apparently i can only write in the 5 +1 format but that's okay. writing this made me feel all fuzzy inside...just lots of fluff

1 .

James carried in a bag of burgers and fries, humming to himself as he wandered over to his boyfriend. Without saying anything he dug out two burgers and a large thing of fries, setting it in front of Aleks who let out a noise of, what James would describe as, unadulterated joy.

"For me?" Aleks asked, taking his headphones off and wasting no time in digging into the first burger. He groaned, giving it in an over-exaggerated manner that made James giggle.

"I could hear your stomach all the way from my desk." James said, setting the rest of the food on Aleks' desk then grabbing a nearby chair to sit down on. He scooted close to his boyfriend, grabbing a fry while doing so and plopping it into his mouth.

"Ugh, marry me." Aleks said, licking the grease off his fingers before munching down the rest of his first burger.

James laughed, doing a lazy spin on his chair, "It's just a burger, dude." He said in amusement.

"Best burger ever. I was starving." Aleks managed to get out, mouth full of food. He swallowed, flashing James a smile, "Really, thanks man."

"Anytime." James assured, returning the smile. He dug into his own burger, pressing close so his and Aleks' knees were touching.

2 .

"Aleks, no way. That's such an ugly color." James said with a scowl, gazing at the rug as if it had personally offended him.

"It's teal!" Aleks cried, "Teal is almost green, and that's your favorite color."

James crossed his arms, "I wouldn't want a green rug anyway, Aleksandr. We're not getting it."

"I'm getting it." Aleks said, ignoring him and shoving it into the cart.

"I'm going to set it on fire." James threatened.

Brett stepped in before Aleks could say anything, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. "You two bicker like a married couple," He mused, "While it's cute, please knock it off. Aleks, the rug is hideous."

Aleks groaned, reluctantly putting the rug away. "There, happy?" He asked, pouting.

James smiled, stepping close to give him a kiss, "I'll make it up to you." He promised.

"How so?" Aleks asked, looking less pouty and more curious.

"It involves my mouth and your cock." James giggled.

Brett rolled his eyes, "Definitely a married couple."

3 .

"This place is fancy as shit." Aleks commented once the waiter had left them at their table. He took the glass of wine they'd each been given and took a tentative sip from it before deciding it was good enough and took a larger drink.

James hummed in agreement, looking around at all the old rich fucks enjoying their wine and fancy seafood. He looked away, focusing on the menu in his hands. It didn't even have prices on any of the items, but James just knew everything was probably at least 40 bucks. Thankfully, James could afford it.

"Dude, they have shark on here. Isn't that, like...bad or something?" Aleks asked, squinting his eyes and pursing his lips a bit.

James couldn't help but smile, eyeing Aleks over the top of his menu. "Yeah, they kill helpless sharks. Not good at all." He said.

Aleks hummed, "I think I'll just get salmon or something." He decided. "What're you getting?"

"The steak pasta." James answered, setting his menu down. He grabbed his own glass of wine, taking a drink and making a face at the bitter taste.

Aleks laughed, "Let me drink it. This shit is expensive." He said, taking James' glass and pouring the liquid into his own.

James was pretty sure they were breaking some...fancy dinner rule, but he didn't really care. Their waiter soon came back to take their orders, looking mildly put off when James asked for soda instead of wine. James and Aleks chatted as they waited for their food, hands held together on the table. A few people kept shooting them looks, because they were on a date or because they were out of place, James didn't know. He wouldn't put it past one of the many old rich folks here to be a little less than enthused to see two dudes holding hands. James ignored the looks, focusing on Aleks.

"I can't believe we've been together for two years." Aleks said, smiling softly.

James gave a nod, "Feels like longer, right?"

"Definitely. I'm surprised we didn't hook up in those early years." Aleks said thoughtfully.

"I'm glad we didn't. We would've been so fucking awkward." James laughed.

Their food came after that, and they lapsed into semi silence so they could eat. It was really good, and James ended up stealing a few bites from Aleks' plate when he finished up his pasta. Aleks batted his hand away playfully, scooping up the last bite of salmon and looking at it for a moment before he sighed and held it up to James. James grinned, happily accepting the bite.

"I want dessert, but it's probably as expensive as the wine." Aleks sighed, setting his fork down. "Think they'd give us a free dessert for our anniversary?"

"A fancy place like this? Probably not. Maybe for your birthday or a proposal." James shrugged, placing his cloth napkin on the table.

Aleks perked up, looking to the ring he always wore and carefully taking it off. "We can fake it." He whispered.

James frowned, looking between the ring and Aleks' earnest expression before he gave a hesitant nod. He could feel himself blush as Aleks got to his knee, saying something cheesy and romantic. James gave another nod when Aleks loudly asked for him to marry him, watching as Aleks slipped the ring onto his finger. He was startled when people around them began to clap, blushing even harder and managing a smile.

A few minutes later and a waiter brought them a free dessert and his congratulations. Aleks seemed thrilled his plan had worked, while James was quiet. He fiddled with the ring on his finger, heart racing.

4 .

"Here's the wedding dress." Trevor said, tossing a vintage wedding dress onto James' lap. "For the skit." He clarified when James looked confused.

"Oh, right. That's today." James sighed, slipping his phone into his pocket before holding the gown up, wrinkling his nose and eyeing the faint yellow stain on it. "Why couldn't you at least get me a nice dress?"

Trevor rolled his eyes, "On a budget, remember? Be glad I didn't get the one that probably had hardened cum on it. I was tempted."

"Asshole." James laughed, getting up with the dress in hand. He headed into the bathroom, stepping into the stall and locking it behind himself.

James stripped down to his boxers, working the old dress on and cringing at the feeling of the lace and old silk. The dress didn't quite fit perfectly, obviously, but it wasn't too baggy or too tight. James reached up, undoing his bun and letting all of his curls down. He collected his clothes, carrying them out and ignoring the laughs his get up received.

"My pretty bride." Aleks cooed, sneaking up behind him and wrapping his arms around James' waist. He placed a kiss on James' cheek, nosing against his curls.

"Enjoy it while it lasts. I'm taking this off as soon as we're done recording." James said firmly, already feeling itchy.

Aleks chuckled, "Don't like wearing a dress?" He teased.

James let his head rest back on Aleks' shoulder, looking up at the ceiling, "It's not that. I'd like it better if this dress wasn't from the 80s and didn't smell faintly of piss."

"Don't worry, on our wedding day you can wear the nicest dress, okay?" Aleks mused.

"Thank you." James said with a grin, giving him a kiss before he pulled away. "Let's get this over with."

Aleks took his hand, leading him outside where they'd be shooting. It was a skit for some new indie game they were being sponsored by, where two players, playing as a bride and groom, had to secretly plan on how to kill each other on their honeymoon without the other finding out. Hence James and Aleks dressed as a bride and groom.

They had a fake ceremony, Brett pretending to be drunk while he read off some babble bullshit that had James trying not to break character. James and Aleks kissed and the scene wrapped up, but they weren't done yet. They moved inside, where a blow-up mattress had been laid out and was decorated with various sex toys. Cue James and Aleks making out only for James to pull out a knife and stab Aleks in the back, having to pause so they could pour out a shit ton of fake blood. James said some cheesy line and got up to leave, but Aleks pulled out a gun and shot him through the chest. Together they died in a puddle of blood.

"It's in my hair!" James complained, sitting up and trying to wring out the fake blood from his now wet curls.

Aleks grumbled as well, sitting up and wiping the side of his face with a nearby towel. They cleaned themselves up so they weren't dripping blood, but kept the outfits on and went to go play. It was surprisingly really fun, and James cheered as he ended up winning, smiling widely and making fun of Aleks for trying to kill him with a fucking teddy bear.

Afterwards they headed into the bathroom together and changed, throwing away their bloodied get-ups once out of them.

"The rings." Aleks reminded, slipping off the plastic hot pink ring from his wedding finger.

James nodded, gazing down at his own plastic ring, letting himself imagine for a moment that it was real. He pushed the thought away, pulling it off and tossing it into the garbage.

5 .

"A class reunion?" Aleks asked curiously, peering over James' shoulder to get a better look at the email.

James gave a slow nod, reading through it, "It's in two weeks, back at my old high school. Joe will probably go." He said.

"You should go." Aleks urged, "You've been missing Joe a lot, and a class reunion sounds fun."

James wrinkled his nose, closing the email, "Maybe, I don't know. Almost everyone I knew in high school was dicks."

Aleks pressed a kiss to his check, "Most people in high school are. Come on, you could visit your mom while you're there too. I could even come along if you wanted." He offered.

"Alright, alright." James laughed, "You go talk to Brett, I'll call my mom and get plane tickets."

Aleks grinned, giving him a proper kiss before he turned away and headed into Brett's office. James bought the tickets first, then called up his mom. She was excited to see him and insisted they come to stay in his old bedroom. James reluctantly agreed, knowing there was no arguing with her.

A week and a half later and they were off to Pennsylvania. James' mom greeted them happily, stealing Aleks away almost immediately while James was left bringing their things to his old room. He sat down on his bed, running his fingers over the familiar comforter and smiling a bit. He had missed home. Aleks came into the room nearly an hour later, giving James a kiss before flopping back onto the bed.

"Your mom is going to cook and invite Joe over for dinner." Aleks said with a smile.

"I can't wait. I haven't had my mom's cooking in...forever." James laughed, laying beside his boyfriend.

They have dinner, and James his overjoyed to see Joe again, catching up. James' moms talked quietly with Aleks, and James would be suspicious if he hadn't been distracted by his best friend. Joe hangs around for a bit after dinner, then leaves to the hotel he's staying at with a promise to see each other at the reunion.

The next day they lazed around until six o'clock, which was when they got dressed up. James was embarrassed to have his mom be treating it like a prom, suffering through the many photos she insisted she take. Eventually, they were allowed to leave, taking a cab to the high school James hadn't seen in for so many years.

There was a surprising amount of people, and James kept ahold of Aleks' hand as they wandered inside, taking their time to look around. Things were mostly the same, just with a modern upgrade. They found their way to the gym where they had to grab a name tag each and a piece of paper that listed all the events throughout the night.

"Free food!" Aleks cheered as he spotted the food table, "You go find a table, okay? I'll get us food and punch."

James didn't have time to protest before Aleks was leaving his side. He sighed, looking around and making his way to an empty table, sitting down. James felt so out of place, pulling out his phone in an attempt to save him from the awkwardness that was social interaction. He groaned when people began to fill the table, making sure the two seats next to him was saved for Aleks and Joe.

"James Wilson?" someone asked.

James reluctantly slipped away his phone, offering a smile to the man across from him. "John, hi." He greeted, eyeing the former jock. James was secretly pleased to find that John was already balding, his smile growing a bit sharper.

"How have you been?" The person to John's left asked. His name tag read Tim and James had to think for a moment as to who the hell he was. He was the nerd that used to follow John around so he wouldn't get bullied. He still looked like a mouse.

"Good, actually." James said honestly.

The two men shared a look, each wearing a smirk that made James feel on the defense already. "Are you married, James? Still doing that YouTube thing?" John asked, and he and his buddy shared a laugh.

"James, honey, you have to try these." Aleks cut in, appearing out of nowhere. He held a cracker with some kind of cheese on it to James' lips, and James hesitantly accepted the food. "Oh, are these your friends?" He asked, voice sickly sweet

"Uh, yeah." James answered lamely.

"I'm Aleks, James' husband." Aleks lied easily, offering his hand out. James noticed that he had moved his ring to his wedding finger.

John shook his hand, looking a bit stunned. "John." He said stiffly.

Tim shook his hand next, frowning a bit, "Tim."

Aleks smiled, sitting next to James and wrapping his arm around his waist, feeding him another cracker. "Has James told you about our channel on YouTube? I'll be honest, it's been a bit of a financial setback, but nothing James can't handle. Right, dear? You millionaire." He teased, pressing a kiss to James' cheek.

James could only nod, face flushed as he leaned into Aleks, letting the blond do the talking for now.

John sputtered, the grip on his glass of champagne tightening. "If you'll excuse us, I think I saw our old friend." He said, getting up and leaving with Tim trailing behind.

"You didn't have to do that." James said once they had left, but Aleks cut him off with a chaste kiss.

"Of course I did, they were being assholes. No one gets to make fun of you while I'm around." Aleks huffed, keeping his arm around James.

James smiled widely, giving him another kiss as thanks. Joe showed up after that, all smiles and kind words as various people approached to say hello and catch up. Everyone loved Aleks, always surprised to learn he was James' husband ( James could've sworn it looked like Joe had an aneurysm when he first heard that, thinking his best friend had gotten married without him there ), and even more surprised at how quick Aleks was to come to James' defense. It was nice.

They left an hour early, waving to Joe who said he'd stop by before he had to leave tomorrow. James sighed happily as he leaned into Aleks, holding his hand, "I love you." He murmured.

Aleks squeezed his hand gently, "I love you too, James."

\+ 1 .

They had to sneak in so as to not wake up James' mom. James felt like a teenager again, giggling as he shut his bedroom door behind them. He got out of the stupid suit he was wearing, dropping the clothes to the floor without a care. Dressed in his boxers and t-shirt, James flopped onto the bed and watched Aleks.

Aleks took his time to undress, brows furrowed. He looked...nervous. He did smile when he caught James watching though. Eventually, he settled in beside James, flipping off the lamp and cuddling close.

James relaxed, letting himself be maneuvered so his back was to Aleks' chest. He closed his eyes, smiling when Aleks sought out his hand, intertwining their fingers. He was ready to doze off when Aleks spoke up, startling him.

"I think we should get married." Aleks blurted, tense behind James.

"You do?" James asked in confusion, keeping ahold of Aleks' hand and playing with the ring on his finger.

Aleks nodded, pressing his face into James' curls. "Everyone already thinks we're married. I want to get married...do you?"

James couldn't answer right away, frowning as he thought about it. He loved Aleks more than anything and knew they were in it for the long run. Being married didn't sound so bad. "I do." He answered, feeling himself blush at the wording. "This is a shit proposal, Aleksandr."

Aleks laughed, "I'll propose properly tomorrow, in front of Joe and your mom. I already have rings." He admitted.

James smiled widely, wiggling around so he was facing Aleks, not saying as he leaned into to kiss his now fiance, heart racing. 

"Don't forget, you promised I could wear the nicest dress for our wedding." James mused.

Aleks laughed, going back to kissing him.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
